inexplicable

as we utter words that fall like flakes in the air, marinating between meaning and misconstruction of thought
today you said, "shut the fuck up"
as though
as though
as though you cared if my plane really crash landed and i never came back

it is possible that you do

that this inexplicable nuance of friendship discovered under swirling patterns of condensed milk and simple small talk weighing down coffee cups, elongating lines to outside the boundaries we have created for our new friendship
it is possible that we were
both watching each other for months move about hard wood floors and let the pillars of laughter resonate inside our memories separate
unknown but
also a collected otherness


our bond could be just beginning or 100% accident

"there is no chili in my grilled cheese situation"

but
i too, i suspect, i will actually honestly miss you and the affiliates i've come to know through you

and not just
for the coffee.